Asking your friends to stand by you on your wedding day is a big deal. A question that I am sometimes asked by clients is how to go about firing a wedding attendant. Unfortunately there is no one size fits all solution here but here are a few things to think about before moving forward with your decision.
What is your reasoning?
Why are you actually upset with this person? Did you grow apart? Are they not showing the enthusiasm that you want in a wedding attendant? This requires some inward reflection as well. If you think that there is any chance of working out the problem, I would consider trying to talk it out first.
Can the problem be resolved?
If you are firing your wedding attendant for a reason, can you talk it out? You asked them to be in your wedding for a reason and there could be a possible resolution that could even strengthen your relationship. While this is an incredibly important moment in your life, your wedding attendant might be dealing with some important life events of their own that is prohibiting them from being overly enthusiastic.
Are you okay with the friendship ending?
How is this going to impact your long-term relationship with this person? You need to accept their reaction because ultimately, you can only control your own actions and responses. Would you be okay if they never spoke to you again? This is a personal decision and your wedding attendant might react in a way that ends the friendship. If the friendship ends, will you be okay with that?
This is, understandably, a tough decision to make and unfortunately the stress of wedding planning can put unnecessary pressure on friendships. Hiring a wedding planner will take some of the stress away that comes with wedding planning but interpersonal relationships can be tough to navigate under any kind of added pressure. If you’re having some tension with a wedding attendant try to intercept it early. Ask them to go do something fun together that is not wedding related and work on talking about what’s going on in each other’s lives. Remember that this is one of the biggest days in your life and while they want to support and love you, this is not the biggest moment in theirs.
